I know I’ve been a bit MIA lately on this site, due to the overwhelming amount of events that have been happening around the nation, but I am finally back to my normal routine and I am feeling inspired and ready to jump back into posting every Tuesday. I know everything has been a little overwhelming lately, but I have been truing to remain positive and continue to educate myself on all the events that have been happening over the past few weeks. I am getting back into my normal content posting on both IG and this blog, but I still will continue to speak on my beliefs and support those who need support. With that being said, I hope you all have been staying safe and healthy. Nick and I have been doing well on the relationship aspect, although some days are better than others (which is totally normal). This is our first time living together officially and since the pandemic hit, we have been having to spend a lot more time together with both of us working from home and spending basically every waking moment together. Living with your significant other can be amazing but it can also be a challenge in itself. You will learn new things about the other person that you may have not known when you initially started dating. For those of you who are considering moving in with your significant other, I wanted to share some of my tips based off experiences Nick and I have had in our 480 sqft apartment.
Make sure you’re on the same page
Before moving in together, you need to make sure you and your significant other are on the same page in life. Luckily, Nick and I were engaged before moving into our current apartment in Jersey City so we knew that we were on the same page on our future together before locking into a lease together. There are other areas like finances or lifestyle choices, that you want to make sure you are aligned on before moving into a space together. If there is anything you are feeling unsure about in your relationship, then maybe you should have those discussions before signing a lease with this person.
Talk about finances
I know that finances can be such a taboo conversation in a lot of relationships, but you need to discuss finances before paying rent and bills together. Nick and I have basically combined (without actually combining) our funds. What I mean by this is, it’s not his money or my money, it’s our money. Make sure you have some kind of financial plan in order to check monthly spending and budget out expenses for the month. One of our main websites we use for tracking our expenses and monthly budgeting is through Everydollar. It’s free and super easy to use to help keep a rough estimate of our spending month over month. We aren’t tracking it to the very cent, but it’s just supposed to be used as a way to give us an idea of what we can spend and track savings for things like our wedding and future travels together!
Communicate, communicate communicate!
Now Nick and I are not always the best when it comes to communicating and we are working through it every day. However, when you move in with someone, communication is key! It’s weird because you may think you have communication down as a couple, but when you come together in one space, sometimes it can become more of an issue than some people realize. Relationships are all about feelings right? So if you are living in a space, then you should kick it up a notch. It’s stupid and miserable to fight over such small instances all the time, so if something like not doing the dishes or leaving the seat up all the time is bothersome to you, then you nip it in the but and move on. If it keeps happening then sit down and have a conversation about how it makes you feel. Either way, communicate with your significant other openly to keep yourselves from arguing about the little things constantly.
Establish your house rules
If you don’t have some rules in place on how you plan to keep everything together in your home, then I don’t know how you do it. One of the biggest things that Nick and I are working on is doing the dishes. I think in the beginning we had a good flow going, but as we got busier and possibly even lazier, I started to notice a dip in keeping things organized and clean around the apartment. Now for me, I am someone who loves her space to be cleaned and organized, because it helps with my sanity, especially now that I am working from home. Having some kind of system in place to help keep your home in order whether it’s cleaning or figuring out work schedule flow. This is also not only about cleaning, but having an understanding how the other person works through their normal day. A normal day for you may not be the exact same as your significant other, so establishing a system in your home to have a good flow throughout the day can be a key factor to establish before moving in together.
You don’t have to spend all day everyday together
I used to think that if Nick wanted to do something different than me, it meant that he didn’t want to spend time with me anymore, which could not have been more false. You are allowed to want time to yourself even when you are living together. There are days where Nick plays Call of Duty with his friends while I watch a few episodes of Sex and the City in the other room or work on writing. You are allowed to do other activities without feeling like you are ignoring the other person. A little separation when living together is normal and as long as you come together to do activities that you like doing together like movie nights, cooking dinner or going for walks around your neighborhood then you won’t get sick of each other so easily!
Never go to bed angry
The one rule that Nick and I have lived by throughout our relationship and since moving in together, is to never go to bed upset when having a fight. More so now that we share a small 480 sqft apartment we try our best to work through the argument (no matter how long it takes) before falling asleep. This has actually helped us a lot by clearing the air before falling asleep and waking up on a new page moving forward.
Don’t let designing your space create a wedge
I love aesthetics. There I said it! I love designing spaces and making everything look nice and believe me that is sometimes hard to do when living with a boy. Nick doesn’t really have much of an opinion when it comes to design or how our home should look, so luckily I was able to design how I’d like it. Now I don’t want that to come across as being selfish, but Nick and I have found an agreement that works best for our relationship. We compromise on designs for our home and I always ask his opinion on what he thinks of things before I just go and design our whole apartment. Just don’t let what kind of pillows you put on the bed or what kind of furniture pieces you have in your home create an issue in your relationship because believe me it’s not worth it. In all honesty, most guys don’t really care what the space looks like as long as they are living with you! Compromise on the areas you don’t care deeply about and work on building your home together.
Remember to have fun with each other
Above anything else, living together and moving into your first place together is supposed to be an exciting adventure! Yes there will be ups and downs, but just have fun, enjoy each other’s company. There are many things that need to be taken seriously before living with your significant other, but just remember not to take life too seriously your first time living together.
I hope you all enjoyed this post and hopefully learned something of use before moving in with your significant other. This can be a huge step and there is definitely a lot that obviously needs to be discussed, but just remember to enjoy the journey and try not to kill your partner in the process LOL. I hope you all are staying safe and sane out there and I can’t wait to talk to you all again next Tuesday!