First I want to wish you all a Happy New Year and I’m wishing you all have one of the best years ever, because let’s be honest 2020 sucked. Plain and simple. I also wanted to apologize for basically being MIA since the end of July. 2020 was definitely a year of a lot of struggles for me personally and unfortunately those struggles took away the only thing that was keeping me happy and positive during this whole pandemic. Last year I struggled a lot with anxiety, as I’m sure a lot of you did as well. Between being stuck inside all the time and not having anywhere to go can truly take a toll on your emotions and mental state. I was also having to work from home like a lot of you full time, in a position I don’t believe I was super happy in and I let it affect my work. At the moment, I am no longer with Starcom, but I am truly grateful for the time I spent there and I am just looking to find a position that not only pays well but brings me joy every day. I bet a lot of you have been feeling the same way as I have been and are really wanting this new year 2021 to be a complete reset. Even if we are still working from home, I’m just praying for some positivity and less hatred happening in the world.
With all that being said I am ready for this new year to be a complete refresh on my life entirely. I want to be happy. I want to be happy in every aspect of the word. In my job, relationship, body image and mentally/soul. No matter what 2021 throws my way, I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. A few nights ago, Nick and I had a really deep conversation about being happy and taking care of ourselves and it truly opened my eyes to how sick of allowing myself to fall into the background and not treat myself the way I deserve to be treated. Every year I feel like I write out these new years resolutions that I start off really strong doing and then by the end of the year, I completely fail at every single thing. I’m sure you all have felt the exact same way. This year, I want to change writing out all the cliche resolutions and focus on the resolutions that are specific to how I live my life every year. Let’s do this together and be honest with yourself about the areas in your life that you truly want to fix!
Start writing again
Like I said earlier, I know I have been MIA since last August but I want to make a change and get back into writing. Writing has always been my favorite way to share my emotions and reach those that may be going through the same thing that I may be going through. I started this blog back in 2017 and I let writing for this blog, which brought me a lot of joy, turn into a chore. I want to be more intentional with posting and truly get on a real schedule and actually write the content that I want to write.
Build more intimacy between Nick and I
I’m sure there have been couples dealing with this all the time and it’s something that Nick and I have discussed on multiple occasions. I know that things like intimacy being discussed can sometimes weird people out, but it’s 2021 can we please discuss s*x and intimacy openly? We are not perfect as a couple and there are some areas that we could definitely improve on. Now I won’t go into any details, because clearly this is for Nick and I to work on, but I do think that it’s important for me to share realistic things like this on my page because, I’m sure there are plenty of other couples how go through the same exact thing!
Workout FOR ME
Every year. Every year I share that I want to workout more and every year, I am pretty solid in the beginning, and then I get in my own head and my own way and just completely start to crumble. I actually workout because I enjoy it and once I start to feel like it is becoming a chore that I need to do, then I start to slow my roll. I want to workout for me and because it makes me happy, not because I feel like I need to look a certain way or loose a specific amount of weight to be happy. Now 2020’s quarantine, definitely put some extra pounds on, which SUCKED. I started personal training and I definitely think it helped me a lot, but sometimes my eating habits and lack of motivation really hurt me and set me back more than pushing me forward. This year, I want to workout, but do it for me and do exercises that make me excited to workout and not feel like it is a job I need to do in order to feel good about myself.
Get my anxiety under control
This year more than ever, I have had terrible anxiety. Whether it be work related or just the stresses that 2020 brought forth to me, I don’t think that I handled my anxiety the best that I could have. I’ll be completely honest with you, I suck at sharing my emotions and admitting defeat. So instead of actually taking care of my anxiety earlier this year, I basically called it a “momentary weakness” and kept going with my day. I mean how f*cking dumb was I? Sorry mom for the language, but seriously. Anxiety is not a moment of weakness, it is something that I should have taken more seriously at the time and really focused on myself to make myself better in the end. I want to be able to better handle situations that may put a lot of stress on me and not allow it to consume my day or my relationships with people.
Journal in my Daily Journal every day (be honest)
This Christmas my mom got me this Start Today Journal created by Rachel Hollis to start bettering my life moving into 2021. This journal is meant to daily take a look at your life and be intentional on everything you write to help you get to a better place and live your life to the best of it’s ability. I love doing things like this and I’m actually really excited to do this every morning and night. I want to be honest because let’s be real no one ever made any progress by lying to themselves.
Eat Better (and really stick to it)
I’ll be the first to admit, I love to eat! I have no issues with eating food but I do struggle with learning to keep it under control. Now I am not the unhealthiest eater in the world, but I can admit that there is room for improvement. Nick is also notorious for eating not the best but since he has a faster metabolism than me, I basically gain his weight on top of my own. Now I have definitely felt the quarantine weight and I am trying hard to get it back down and be healthier all around. So Nick and I both are making a conscious effort to buy healthier food items, stop snacking, cut down on eating out and focus on just making better choices overall. We want to make sure that we are leading the best life that we can live and not get wrapped up in treating our bodies like crap.
Give myself more grace
Let’s be real, this year was tough on all of us. During 2020, I found myself being too hard on myself for things that I truly couldn’t control. Which in turn caused a lot of anxiety, crying and sleepless nights. My mom would always remind me to give myself more grace on the areas in life that I can’t control, which is tough for someone like me who thrives on having control of my situation. So this year, I really want to change that and be more kind to myself and not put so much pressure on my shoulders in the areas of my life that I may not be able to fully control.
I probably could think of an endless amount of resolutions that I am determined to stick to going into 2021, but these are the main areas of my life that I see needing the most help moving into 2021. I do want to share a few smaller intentions that I want to bring into 2021 because I don’t want to forget about these areas that could use some improvement as well.
- Read a new book every month
- Make more effort to call those I love
- Cook one new recipe a week
- De-Clutter more often (physical and emotional)
- Learn a few new skills for work
- Master plant care
I am wishing you all the best with your resolutions/intentions for this new year and please god let 2021 be way better of 2020! I will talk to you all again soon!